Teachers Say the Craziest Things: Back to School Edition

Especially when school is starting back.

Especially in kindergarten.

Sometimes I hear myself and I think, “Really? Did that just get said?” But it NEEDS to be said! Our little friends are very literal and sometimes need very explicit directions on many tasks and routines when starting their school adventures. They give a whole new meaning to the term “explicit instruction”!

They also ask a LOT of questions…and I try to answer as seriously as I can. 

So here are just a few of the crazy things that have come out of my mouth this year…during the first two weeks of school.

Do we eat markers? Noooo, we don’t eat markers.

Yes, I’m a person. Yes, just like you.

This is how we sit in a chair. 

Let’s pretend like I don’t know how to walk. Who can show me how to walk?

Let’s practice laughing for real. Have you really ever seen someone laugh and it caused them to fall out of a chair? Oh, you have? Your dad? Well….

You’re not ten. You’re actually five. Isn’t that great? Me? No I’m not ten either. I’m thirty three. Yes… well, no I’m not dead. I’m still alive, I’m just thirty three.

Let’s pretend I can’t read. 

No, I’m not seventy.

It’s okay to laugh if something is funny, but you MUST recover.

Let’s pretend I can’t sit crisscross applesauce. Who can show me what to do?

This is a computer mouse. Thank you if you are not screaming. It’s not an animal mouse…it’s a computer mouse.

These computers aren’t touch screens. You need to use the mouse. Thank you if you are not screaming. It’s not a mouse like an “animal mouse”. It’s a computer mouse.

Let’s pretend like I can’t whisper. 

No I’m not a second grader.

Let’s pretend like I’m fake laughing instead of “real” laughing. Who can show me how to move on?

Let’s pretend like my beans are stuck to my tray. How will I get them off?

I’m going to pretend like you didn’t put that in your mouth. 

To another teacher: Go in there and tell me if it smells like something is dead in there?

To another teacher: The beginning of kindergarten is my favorite. No really! It is!😊 


It really is my favorite. I love my kindergarten friends and their crazy comments and questions and I LOVE making a difference in their lives. Okay teachers, let’s have it. Share your crazy words below. I hope your year is awesome!!!!!

PS- I totally allow and love laughter in my room! πŸ˜‰ We’ve just had some issues recovering from laughter this year! 


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9 Responses to Teachers Say the Craziest Things: Back to School Edition

  1. Ruth Smith says:

    Reading “Miss Smith’s Incredible Storybook” to first graders…
    Me: What’s the difference in Miss Smith in our story and me, Mrs. Smith?
    Student: Miss Smith is skinny!
    Me: She is, isn’t she…and (using my silly voiceπŸ™ƒ) I’m not skinny!
    Kiddos are SO honest!!!

  2. Kelly says:

    Student: Mrs Winnett are you pregnant?
    Me: No, I’m not
    Student: Just really fAt?
    Me: Yes
    Kids are brutally honest

  3. Pingback: Teachers Say the Craziest Things: Back to School Edition β€” My Story, My Song | So, You Think You Can Teach ESL?

  4. Norah Colvin says:

    Have a wonderful year! I know, it can take a long time to recover from laughter – especially when the teacher is laughing! πŸ™‚

  5. joyroses13 says:

    I am sure your little ones love having you as a teacher! Sounds like you make it so much fun. Love the “don’t scream, its a computer mouse.” lines πŸ˜‰

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