“But who will be my friend?”

This was the question I constantly asked my mom and myself as a child. I was always concerned with having a friend close by to help me conquer whatever situation I was walking into. Going to church each week, I’d ask “Who will be there today?”, hoping my  best friend  would be there to speak for me. She was my voice. Her name is April, and whenever I needed to say something as a young child, she was there to say my words for me!

And then, school started, and I had to go without April because of the fall birthday rule. She was just a few months behind me, but those were important months when it came to deciding who could go to kindergarten in the fall.

“But who will be my friend?”

I spent lots of time on the playground by myself at the beginning of my school days because I wasn’t good at making friends! I was hindered by shyness. It is something I still struggle with to this day. As a teacher myself, I get a small tug on my heart every time I see a child wandering around on the playground by himself or herself, looking to other children, silently asking to play and be friends because the words just won’t come out. No matter how young we are, everyone wants a friend.

I love my friends. They laugh with me, cry with me, and talk with me. We go shopping together, plan parties together, and watch movies together. My friends listen to my songs and always offer encouragement. My friends pray for me. They pray with me. And even now, as I did all throughout childhood, when I’m going to a new place, I find myself thinking the same question that seemed to grow up with me.

“But who will be my friend?”

This year, God has sent me some awesome opportunities. I’ve gotten to be in the same room and meet people that I have only dreamed about meeting in my life. And every time I’ve gotten ready for these wonderful, life-changing opportunities, I have had moments of overwhelming apprehension over meeting new people and “making friends”. It’s a vicious thing, this shyness. If I try to face it on my own, without God’s help, it can take away my excitement, peace, joy, and even my obedience to His plan. It reminds me over and over again of the question that tries to become my mantra.

“But who will be my friend?”

I may not think the exact words, but I wonder about the people that I will be around. Will they like me? Will we get along?  Will they get me? And then I worry. Will I be alone? Will everyone else have someone to talk to except for me? Will I have to sit by myself? Will I actually have to initiate a conversation, because, seriously folks, sometimes the words just won’t come from my mouth! It may sound silly, but I get so nervous when I’m in a crowd of new people–yet I’m alone– that I just can’t do words. And I love words! From conversations I’ve had with others, I’m  not the only person who is apprehensive over meeting new people. Because no matter how old we are, everyone wants a friend.

Have you ever felt friendless? It’s a sickening feeling. Maybe you are in a new place and you know no one. Maybe the friends you had have deserted you. Maybe you feel like you’ve never had a true friend. Maybe you are constantly asking yourself the question that has tapped me on the shoulder so many times.

“But who will be my friend?”

You have a Friend. The book of Proverbs tells us “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  (18:24) His name is Jesus. He died to be your Friend and Savior. What a wondrous, joyous thought! The King of all kings, Maker of the world, Redeemer of humanity, is our Friend! And He’s not just a Friend who is there when you’re in a good mood or saying and doing all the right things. He’s there for you all the time. He is closer than a brother.

He is bigger than my shyness. He supplies words when I have none. He is my comfort if I have to sit alone. He is my security when I go up and introduce myself to new people. He laughs with me when I do silly things out nervousness and helps me to smile at myself instead of cry over my craziness (I mean, really, sometimes I might as well just shake hands with new people and say Hi, I’m Awkward. And you are?..).

And when I do need to cry, He gives me His shoulder to cry on. You and I know that there are  times when even our closest friends can’t understand our hurts. But Jesus does. He is closer than a brother. The awesome thing about Jesus is that He became us. He left His heavenly home to become one of us. So He knows our hurts, our insecurities, and fears. No one understands us and can be a better Friend to us than Jesus.

I pray that He is your friend today! All you have to do is ask, and He will be there. If you feel like you need help asking Him to be your Friend, let me know and I will help you!

My dad has had a mandolin in his hand since before I can even remember! He joins me in the song “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” with his voice and his mandolin. He’s so good! He and my mother taught me about my Friend Jesus when I was a tiny girl, so this isn’t just my story, it’s his too. And it can be yours today!

This is our story, friends, and this is our song. Take a listen and sing along!

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