In Spite of Me

One day my sister and I took our bevy of boys to a local fast food restaraunt. Let me just say, we can’t sneak up on anyone. We came barreling in and the boys set the world record for the quickest eating time in a restaraunt in order to go play! Of course, Amy and I didn’t mind too much…this meant we could eat and talk to each other and actually hear each other for a change!

But it was not to be. My little Peyton, who was three at the time, began screaming after about a minute. Amy and I rushed into the play area to find him at the very top of the “tower”, as he called it. You see, there was this set of landings spaced about 2 feet on top of each other and Peyton had climbed to the very top (it was pretty high) and was convinced that he was stuck. He was dangling from the top with his eyes squeezed shut.

Amy and I looked at each other. I’d just had surgery, so my five-foot-eleven sister got to climb into the tower after Peyton. She broke another world record for being on so many landings at one time as she folded her long legs and tried to climb to the top. And guess what she saw when she got to Peyton? His feet were centimeters from a solid landing. He was hanging on for dear life with a white-knuckled grip, too afraid to look down and realize that solid ground was right beneath his feet.

“Peyton, just let go. Your feet are about to touch the ground.”

Really? Big sigh. Pounding heart calms down. He lets go. He realizes he is safe and keeps on playing. All is good. Well, except Amy has to figure out how to unfold from the miniature play tower and I now “owe her one”. Other than that, all is great!

Sometimes I am just like Peyton in that play tower. I climb through my life all by myself, thinking I’ve got a strong foothold. I push away the One who tries to help me. I inflict wounds upon myself from my errors. And then I get stuck. I think I’m going to fall. To fail.

I start yelling for help. And the Lord whispers, “Paige, let go. Solid ground is under your feet.”

How often do we think we are falling when solid ground is right underneath us? How often do we not heed His voice when we are panicking because of our own mistakes?

I do it all the time, friends. But here’s something I know without a doubt. No matter how many times I fail, no matter how many times I need rescued, He is always there to pick me up, dust me off, and make me new again. He is there ready to catch me, reminding me to just loosen my grip and fall onto His solid ground. He rescues me, He loves me in spite of me.

I am a wayward child, focused on myself most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly telling Him, “I’m sorry. I’m going to do better.” But then, the next day, I get into the same messes again. How many times have I promised Him I would change?

But as many times as I mourn over my own mistakes, as many times as I think that I’ll never be enough, He reminds me that in everything I do He fills in all the broken peices with His love. He loves me in spite of me.

I am so thankful for a Father who loves me despite the mistakes I make. I’m thankful that I’m covered by His mercy and grace. I’m thankful that He is there to remind me that solid ground is just beneath my feet!

Listen to  In Spite of Me, words and music by Paige Givens, copyright 2015

Sharing with friends at, Tell His Story,

tell his story     coffee for your heart rara

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19 Responses to In Spite of Me

  1. Deb Wolf says:

    I love the story and the song Paige. Beautiful!

  2. Heather says:

    SO glad to read this first thing today : ) What truth– There are days I think I’m in charge… but I’m reallllly not. Thanks be to God and to you my friend for sharing such beautiful thoughts and your song ♥

  3. Joanna says:

    Absolutely love this message and this song!

  4. livingbraver says:

    Paige, what a lovely presence you have here and what a lovely voice. Yes, in spite of us, I am awed each day…

  5. Ashley Palladino says:

    I needed this today more than you will ever know. I stumbled across this with no intentions to have God speaking to me. It’s been a long day with my three boys….. and this song touched me!! So much…. it touched me. Thank you for sharing your beautiful voice! Nothing brings me back like it does……

  6. Oh Father what a reminder of your love and that I am not the only one in this battled. Thank you Paige for sharing your heart with us!

  7. Always love how you are able to take a life experience Paige, and share a very profound life lesson. I so often fail to realize that there is that solid ground below me.
    Did you write this song Paige? I really love it! 🙂

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